The joy that presents as pain

An emergency trip to Denver after my brother suffered a fatal cardiac arrest forced me to add another brother's name to my list of Angel brothers on my Reason and Purpose page.  I was able to talk to him as we let him go and he crossed the bridge.  I urged him to seek out everyone he knew and to do a little riding, rocking, and fishing.   I tearfully and somewhat reluctantly rejoiced that he was free of pain and in the hands of God.

My brother, Jay, was 52 at the time of his passing and even though he was an adult, working on Angelgowns has been very difficult.  I cried the whole time I worked on these gowns, thinking of the time he would not get to spend with his four youngest children ranging from 5-15.  I cried because I am selfish and I want him here with me.   I cried for all the pre-term babies that passed before they were able to meet their parents, siblings, or grandparents.  

I cried because I miss my Angel brothers and I cried for all the Angelbabies.  But I still reluctantly rejoice that they are safe and warm and waiting for us.....  all the time, fiercely loved by those left here for a while longer.

I am a woman of action and I need to do something.   However, there is little I can do for my brother's children except to work to fund a memorial account for their post-secondary education. I plan to make and sell some quilts with all proceeds to the fund......   and I thank you for listening because writing does help, as does staying busy.

Back to my Angelbabies.....  These gowns, made from a dress donated by Nancy C along with bits from other prom type dresses for the vests, are finally finished.  Nancy's dress had waited a long time to be used.  Thank you Nancy for your patience.   They should be shipped off by the end of the month.

I just love the little boutonnieres!

To all the Angelbabies......   we miss you and love you and will hold you again soon.